Interview with Sasha: Adoption and Motherhood
Lauri: Your baby is due any day now. How do you feel about becoming a mother?
Sasha: Nervous. Excited. Scared. As any woman would, I guess.
Lauri: Do you feel prepared for everything that is about to happen and change?
Sasha: I think so. Her nursery is ready. I think we have everything we need for her. We’re excited to have her actually using everything and seeing her. I’m excited to meet her.
Lauri: Over the years you’ve often mentioned some deeper thoughts about having your own child. Would you feel free to explain some of that?
Sasha: I’ll try. Since I’m adopted myself, this will be the first blood-related person I’ve ever known. It’s a big deal to me. Our baby is very wanted and special to me in a way that is deeper on some level than I can explain. I’ve also had some nervousness about becoming a mother. Because my birth mother left me after birth at the hospital in Odessa, Ukraine that meant I lived in orphanages until I was adopted at almost 11 years old. It’s been a hard thing to deal with sometimes. I know she could have aborted me because many women have abortions in Ukraine so I am thankful she chose to give me life. But I can also struggle with being abandoned by her. I know others who have been adopted and it is common to wonder if something was wrong with you to cause your own birth mom to not want you. I’ve had to give these things lots of thought. I do recognize the circumstances of my birth were so bad she felt she couldn’t keep me. That makes me sad for her. But other times it’s a struggle to understand.
Lauri: Why do those very significant things make you feel nervous about becoming a mother yourself?
Sasha: I wonder if seeing my own baby will make me realize how incredible it is to have a child and then wonder why my own mother didn’t feel that way about me. I think everyone can agree that would be hard. I am praying God will help me with all of these difficult things.
Lauri: You’ve had a special thing happen recently regarding having your baby that you’ve felt was a blessing from God. Would you like to tell us about that?
Sasha: I would! I think only a few know that I am unable to nurse my baby because I was born HIV positive and even though my medicine keeps my HIV levels undetectable, I still can’t breastfeed because of the medication. I have seen how God has taken care of my health all through my life and He just showed me again how much He cares, even for the little things. I’ve wanted our baby to get breast milk because it is so good for a baby. I’ve been looking at any options I might have since learning I definitely should not breastfeed. At Christmas, my sister-in-law surprised me by giving me some extra frozen breast milk she had. That actually made me cry. And just this week we found a woman in Aberdeen who has an overproduction of breast milk she pumps for her own baby. We met her and her husband and we were able to get enough for at least a month after I deliver. I feel so thankful! It was a big concern of mine, and to see God answer my prayers in this way is a reminder how much He cares for us.
Lauri: Shortly after you and Dalton knew you were expecting a baby you said something very profound. It was this: “God was the first one to love me. Then He gave me parents to love me. Then He gave me a husband to love me. And now he’s given us a baby to love. He just keeps growing the love.” I thought you said that in the special way only you can say.
May God bless you and Dalton with the birth of this dear little one!
